When someone sits in our section, they become our responsibility. We are the (greasy) face of the restaurant and most customers are either going to blame us or credit us for their dining experience. The first thing we have to do is greet them. It matters not if you have ten other tables needing your attention. Nor does it matter that your bladder is seconds away from bursting. All that matters to the customer is that they are attended to, so ignore that restroom that is calling to you like the sirens singing out to forlorn sailors and go greet your table. They want to know that you know they are there, as if you didn’t notice them with their double-wide stroller, three screaming children and desperate need for attention.
Smile
The smile can be as phony as the wax fruit on your grandma’s coffee table, but it’s important. We never want the customer to think they are a nuisance and if you suffer from resting bitch face, suppress it. Show those pearly whites (or buttery yellows, if the case may be) and let them know how happy you are to see them. Again, don’t worry if the smile is fake. Chances are good that their smile will be too. Customers and servers belong to a mutual toleration society.
Ladies First
If there is a woman at the table, it’s polite to say hello to them first. Yes, it’s a throwback to a different era, but why not embrace 1950’s culture for just one moment? We know women deserve equal pay and equal treatment, but in the restaurant world, “ladies first’ will always have a place on the menu just like roasted chicken, beef bourguignon and nachos.
Careful What You Call Them
One thing to be mindful of is using colloquialisms when addressing your customers. Even something as simple as, “And how are you guys tonight?” can make the hairs on the back of the neck of some women stand on end. Women are not guys, nor do they like being referred to as them. Use words like “folks” and “everyone.” For bonus points, you can say “y’all” but it’s best if you throw in a Southern accent and then hope for a bigger tip due to your down-home country charm.
Be Personable
Now that you have greeted the table, you have bought yourself some time before the next step of service. “Let me take care of another guest and I will return shortly to give you my full attention.” This is your opportunity to release the torrent of three Diet Cokes, a bottled water and half of a glass of Chardonnay. As you leave them, in an attempt to be personable without being creepy, gently place your hand on the edge of the table. This gives the customer a feeling of familiarity. Twenty years ago, it might have been acceptable to touch a guest on the shoulder to give this impact, but if you do that now you are risking lawsuits, jealous spouses and/or mace, so just touch the table.
Customers like to think they are the most important person in the restaurant. While they are certainly near the top of the list, right behind the dishwasher and any bartender who is willing to let us taste the wine repeatedly, we have to do whatever we can to give them the impression that they are number one. Greeting your table warmly and efficiently can certainly help. It lays down the groundwork for a smooth transaction that will hopefully result in a great dining experience for them and a big fat tip for us. Not that we only do this for the tips. Well, okay maybe we do, but it’s still a good idea to know the best way to greet a table.