Welcome to Review Raiders, where we defend the honor of some of our favorite establishments from the savage judgment of the internet. In other words, we’re taking irrational restaurant reviews and giving them some constructive feedback. Now, let us be clear—we wholeheartedly believe in freedom of speech (and taste), which is precisely why we feel inclined to exercise our own. Every 1-star review has its story, and every story deserves a happy rebuttal.
Lazarus Brewing is like an Avengers movie—except instead of Ironman, Captain America and Black Panther banding together to fight existential threats to our universe, they’ve brought tacos, coffee and beer together to obliterate our taste buds. We won’t even go into the fact that this dual-threat brewery comes in the form of a rustic, repurposed car port. Okay, we’ll actually go into it—whether it was formerly an automotive shop or a gas station, they slapped some turquoise paint on the outside and created a novelty experience worth texting your friends about (we did). And the sweet smell of grains in the brewery only serves as a distraction to the fact that the taste of perfectly seasoned eggs will soon slap you awake to a whole new world of breakfast tacos.
Look, restaurants get popular. Popular enough that companies want them all to themselves. And the “corporate cash” they receive for their sought-after services? It’s the same cash we use to settle up after a round of beers and queso. Wait, we didn’t mention the queso yet? Oh boy. Hidden under your pristinely baked “Queso Fundido” is something that will have your head thrown back in euphoria. Just use a tortilla chip to dig for the treasure, and soon you’ll find something better than ancient jewelry or untouched gold—we’re talking about a little something called chorizo. Whip it all together with your cheese and veggies, and you’ll be wondering how you got so lucky.
Yikes. That’s just the law, buddy. And if the only difference between one and five stars is being able to serve yourself out of a growler, then you must have one hell of a pour. I didn’t order a $70 growler, but one of the employed bartenders did hook me up with a pint of their Hollaback. There were no frills with this West Coast IPA, just a perfectly piney flavor that transported this hop-head straight to Bitter City (which in this case, is a good thing). Then I took a cold brew to go and discovered some pep in my step that could only be attributed to diligently concentrated caffeine—not to worry, it tastes phenomenal too.
Here, let’s see if you can get full from a picture:
